Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
