so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
