I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
