I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
as a side note pls kill me
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
