Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
