Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
