I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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