told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
