Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
