I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
