Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We need to get me chipped asap
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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