Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
they need to just BURY HIM!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
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