those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
What a dumb baby whore.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize