I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
