Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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