So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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