We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
