Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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