He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize