someone threw a dead crab at me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are two peas in an std pod
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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