Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
