One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
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