four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
