There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
