What did we do last night that was yellow?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
