doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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