I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
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Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
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This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
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It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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