you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
dude. I can hear the air.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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