my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
