So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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