My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
