i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
