I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
