Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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