i already hear my dad disowning me
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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