Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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