This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize