What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
