I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
