I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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