Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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