Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
