I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
