I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
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Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
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Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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