Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
