I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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