I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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