If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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