i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
did i walk over a car last night?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
