May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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