My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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