does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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