I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
