do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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