i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Houston, we have a blender
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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