but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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