why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
