is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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