my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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