Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
