We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
