What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
