Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
