I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
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