Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
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i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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