you have to choose: penises or morals?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
