i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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