Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
