Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
